Long-distance relationships can be extremely hard. Not only is it
difficult because you can not see or talk to your partner as frequently
as usual, but practically everyone you meet will have a horror story
about how a long-distance relationship failed for them. I once read that
absence diminishes small love and increases great ones. Keep this in
mind when you are going through rough times. If you have not yet
committed to a long-distance relationship and are contemplating it, know
that it is a huge commitment. Make sure that you really love the other
person and that it is worth it for you to make certain sacrifices. Below
are some guidelines to make it work.
1. Be honest about what you expect from each other. Do you want the
freedom to date other people? Are you comfortable with your partner
making friends with the opposite sex? Are you going to try the
long-distance thing out and stick with it if it seems to work, but not
try to force the relationship? Discuss these things with your partner
and be honest about your expectations. This way, everything is out in
the open and it will lessen the suspicions you have about the other
person. Also, you never have to question if you are crossing a boundary.
2. Coordinate your schedules. Be realistic about the time commitment you
can give each other. If it works for both of your schedules, plan on
talking at a particular time at night. However, this can place stress on
you if you end up wanting to go out with friends and your long-distance
partner is not understanding about your need to be social and branch
out, or gets jealous of the time you spend with other people. No matter
what, try to keep in touch daily through phone calls, E-mail, AIM, or
other means. Download Skype, net2phone, or phone-free. Its free to talk
online if you both download programs like these ... no matter where you
are. Also, consider a web cam for a more personal connection.
3. Make plans in advance to see each other in person. If you set firm
dates to see each other and stick to them, it makes the wait less
difficult because you can spend time planning outings with your partner
and looking forward to seeing them. When you mutually agree on certain
times to see each other, it lessens problems that can arise from one
person feeling like they are pressuring the other into seeing them and
the other feeling like the are too busy and are pushing away from the
relationship because of the pressure.